I picked up Milk Fed by Melissa Broder on a whim when I took my daughter to the library for the first time. I wasn’t entirely sure what it was about but it was on the shelf with the new library additions, which I always check out.
I actually placed the book back, then picked it back up again. Mostly because I’m not sure about the color orange and that’s pretty much the book cover, with a little bit of pink and white.
I was really more focused on my daughter’s first experience at the library, so I went home with it not really thinking much of it. But then I dived into it.
Milk Fed by Melissa Broder
The story follows the main character, Rachel into a self-actualization journey. She has lived her life through caloric restriction, partly to please her mother, and partly because this is the only life she’s known.
She meets a girl who teaches her that there is more to life than restriction, without even knowing about her history. She has been chasing acceptance her whole life, first from her mother who believed that her size and the number on the scale was directly representative of her value as a human being.
She also craved acceptance from her co-worker, who served as a mother like figure. In the end she gets betrayed by the same co-worker resulting in her firing.
The novel is a beautiful representation of finding yourself, love, hunger, and desire.
Thoughts on Milk Fed (TW)
I read this book fairly quickly in comparison to other books that I’ve checked out. I think I finished it within two days. I think I have a short attention span so this was really saying something for me.
I felt so much for the character. I lived my teenage years in the same way. I had a borderline eating disorder and I wanted to be a bulimic so bad but it just didn’t work out for me thankfully. I spent days working out and in my twenties, I even worked out at random times like two in the morning.
I was obsessed with how I looked in the mirror. I learned to count calories consistently and I prided myself on being able to last longer periods without eating. Mostly I was trying to placate my mother, who just like Rachel’s mother believed that my value as a human being was directly proportional to my weight (or lack thereof).
For the longest, I did not feel like I was enough, which landed me in relationships that was not necessarily good for my soul but helped me get that validation that I so craved.
My mom was always proud of me for so many other reasons but the fact that she could not see her own value due to her food obsession has mirrored in my psyche causing me to believe that I was unworthy too.
It still hits me some days.
Still I wanted it. I wanted a love contingent on nothing finite. I wanted a love without end. Everyone was always saying you had to give it to yourself. Self-love, self-love. What did that even mean?
Milk fed by Melissa broder
I think to truly break generational beliefs, it is important to change your own behavioral patterns. I need to find that self-love within myself and stop waiting for my own mother to find that self-love within herself.
Like the saying goes, it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks.
Choosing to stop the generational expectations instead of actively relaying these beliefs to my daughter is definitely my life’s work.
Milk Fed reminded me of the importance of working on yourself for future generations to come. Although I love my mom, I know that I can’t let her beliefs poison my daughter in the same way that it broke her soul.
Reminders
- Your beauty is not defined by the scale or your pant size.
- You may not be able to change your parent’s beliefs, but you can change how you respond to them.
- Stop looking for acceptance in all the wrong places.
- Not every story will result in a happy ending, but it does teach us and change us in so many ways.
Rating
4/5
It was such an interesting book. It’s crazy how individuals from different backgrounds experience the same kinds of societal pressures. It’s a great reminder that at the end of the day, we are not alone in this journey. I was a little bit sad at the ending, but mostly because I love a good happy ending but maybe for Rachel, it was. This is the first book I’ve read from Melissa Broder and I definitely want to check out her other books.
