The Manti Te’o Documentary was featured on the top my Netflix feed yesterday and as any curious human being, I clicked play. I didn’t really know much about Manti Te’o, just that he used to play for the Chargers, a team that I wasn’t really a big fan of.
But like most days, I needed something to watch as I worked. Documentaries are great to fill the void while typing out emails or when you’re trying to procrastinate, as I was yesterday.
Fast forward two hours later and I’m bawling my eyes out as I rewatch the last ten minutes for the twentieth time. The Manti Te’o Documentary affected me more than I thought it would, and I feel like I’ve learned such a different outlook on life because of it.
The Manti Te’o Documentary Summary
If you haven’t heard of the Manti Te’o story, or if it was buried in the back of your mind like me, the gist is that he is a professional football player that got catfished.
Manti Te’o had a girlfriend who was struggling with leukemia. But here’s the catch. He’s never actually met her in real life.
The girlfriend ended up “dying.” Then later, coming back to say that she was in trouble and had to go into hiding.
The girlfriend was actually a man who was dealing with his own sexuality. Now, she knows that she is transgender and wants to live life as a man, but at the time, with societal and familial pressures was unable to live out her truths.
The whole story unfolded as a sports website did an investigation finding out that the girlfriend wasn’t real, but a catfish.
The story made national news, there were memes created. All this was happening as he was entering the NFL. He may have missed out on getting picked as a first round draft pick.
While he was in the NFL, he experienced severe anxiety during his games. He was ultimately unlike the star player that he used to be in Notre Dame. He started second guessing his moves and his decisions.
All because of a catfish.
But he was in love with her. Manti Te’o is a devout Christian that saw the best in everyone. The documentary basically follows how he has overcome everything.
Lessons from the Manti Te’o Documentary
Forgive Them
Manti Te’o was able to forgive her for catfishing him, for causing him global humiliation, for pretending she was dying, dead, for costing his career. So can you.
I’m not the best at forgiving. In fact, I used to pride myself at holding grudges. I talked in hateful language sometimes despite saying that I have forgiven them.
My mom always used to say that it’s better to forgive, but when it’s coming from your mom’s mouth, you never really take it for what it’s worth.
The thing about not forgiving people for their transgressions against you is that you end up holding on to that burden for years and years. And these years turn into decades until you die with that burden. With that hatred in your heart.
When you could have just let go.
It’s unnecessary to put all that burden on yourself, all that energy spent on hatred, when you could have just moved past it.
This is something that I have to work on. I don’t want to look at my past as something that I’m bitter about, but rather just moments that made me who I am today.
And at the end, he says, “Let me ask you a question.” “Have you forgiven him?” .. “Yeah, I did.” He said, “Okay.” “Let me ask you a second question. Have you forgiven yourself?”
Manti te’o documentary | untold: the girlfriend who didn’t exist
Forgive Yourself
The Manti Te’o Documentary truly put in me a tornado of emotions. The one lesson that I had to face was that I needed to forgive myself. And just like him, I didn’t even think that I needed to be forgiven.
I think that sometimes it is entirely too easy to talk a certain way to ourselves, to be mean to ourselves, to be critical of ourselves, to judge ourselves for what we have done.
As humans, we are imperfect beings who make mistakes.
We aren’t perfect, life would be so boring if it was so.
But I think that giving ourselves that grace that we provide others is important.
My past is murky and I’ve done things that I wish that I can take back but on that same note, I don’t regret my decisions. My life experiences have made me become a better human, a better mom, a better creator.
I’m still imperfect.
There are days where I wish my patience with my kids was better. I wish that I could be more of the kind of person who is always kind as a first response, but I’m not, so I’m working on that.
Overall Thoughts
The Manti Te’o Documentary has changed me as a person. I truly believe that. I wish that my faith in God was as strong as his. I want to challenge myself to be a better human every single day, while at the same regard not be too hard on myself when things aren’t exactly perfect.
